Foreign cultures are very interesting for me. I have lived in the same country, spoken the same language, and been immersed in the same culture for the last 25 years; so, observing another culture from the outside can be a little confusing. For instance, while living in America, I had read about some of the cultural differences between America and Japan, but I didn't truly understand the differences nor could I possibly understand why a Japanese person behaved the way he or she did. Actually experiencing these differences is totally different, and I think, after making a plethora of mistakes, I am beginning to gain a very minor understanding of Japanese culture.
General BehaviorShyness - Japanese people are very shy. I don't mean that they aren't friendly because the truth is that they can be very friendly (particularly to Americans if you have the right attitude). This one is actually really hard to describe on its own, but perhaps you will come to understand what I mean by reading the other descriptions of general Japanese behavior.
Indirectness - Americans have a tendency to be very direct. If an American wants something, he or she will usually declare this pretty quickly. A Japanese person, on the other hand, will occasionally declare his or her desires, but most of the time that person will give you the opportunity to offer first. If you don't offer, then that person may just shut up at that point or he or she may attempt to prompt you without being too forward. In the case that you are in a group of people and someone wants something from you, but you don't offer, usually that person will depend on others to make it known to you that he or she wants something. For an American that is used to people being very direct, this can be confusing and it is important to be alert and attentive to your surroundings.
Gestures - Japanese people do not shake hands. They do not hug. They bow. I never gave it much thought as to why. Then, my Japanese friend walks into my room the other day and asks me why I think it is that Americans shake hands or hug and Japanese people bow. It occurred to me then that this is again related to the shyness and indirectness of the Japanese people. Americans are direct. We will walk right up to someone, and, without knowing the other person, will engage in physical contact with that other person. Japanese people, are very indirect. They will keep their distance (usually about a meter or more), and they do not engage in direct physical contact; they remain physically separated from the other person by bowing.
Eye contact - For Americans, eye contact is very important. We think that a person who maintains direct eye contact during a conversation is honest, confident, and strong. We will usually think the converse about a person that does not maintain eye contact. This is not true in Japan. At first, an American may find it bizarre that a Japanese person will often not maintain direct eye contact. Be assured that this is typical. It seems that a Japanese person can feel very uncomfortable if you maintain direct eye contact with he or she.
Language - For those who have studied some Japanese language, this may make more sense than for those who have not. The indirectness of the Japanese people can very obviously be observed in their language. When an American makes a declaration in English, we will often take this declaration as information and that is all. In Japanese, on the other hand, it is important to be aware of what the other person is saying and what the appropriate response should be. For example, I was playing some music in my room one night, someone knocked on my door, and the following exchange occurred in Japanese...
Jasutin: *Opens the door*
Other person: [Because it's 11 o'clock.]
J: [I'm sorry.]
Allow me to translate this into an equivalent exchange in English...
J: *Opens the door*
O.P.: I'm sorry to disturb you, but I knocked on your door because it's 11 o'clock and your music is disturbing me. Will you turn it down please?
J: I'm sorry. I'll turn it down now.
O.P.: Thanks.
J: No problem.
Sometimes, when Japanese people speak to me in English, they will continue to be very indirect and I have to be particularly attentive.
Bitter smile - Americans are usually pretty open about their feelings towards other people. With some exceptions, if we don't like someone, we will let that person know somehow. Japanese people will usually not do this unless they are close to the other person. Ordinarily, they will still be outwardly friendly to a person that they do not like. On the other hand, if you are close to a Japanese person and you do something that upsets that person, they will definitely let you know (usually indirectly though it seems).
HumorJapanese humor is another area that may take some getting used to for Americans, as it can be rather different from American humor...
For instance, as for American males, in a group of friends, we may sometimes make fun of each other. Everyone in the group knows that it is just a joke, and if someone goes too far, then we will directly let that person know that he went too far. You cannot do this with Japanese friends. One night, one of the other Americans was drinking and decided to do an impression of one of my Japanese friends. In America, this would have been totally acceptable, but my Japanese friend took great offense and later questioned me as to why the American guy did this. I explained that this is one style of American humor, but my friend was still greatly offended.
The way that Japanese guys joke around with each other is simply different from how American guys typically would. You just have to go with the flow. So, no matter how strange things get, you just go along with it. I had heard about things like kancho amongst Japanese youth before coming to Japan, but I always thought it was rather bizarre. Having spent some time here, I finally understand why this is a popular joke amongst Japanese youth, but I think it would be impossible for me to give any kind of explanation that would make sense.
Similar MindAmericans are very independent and individualistic. We care about our own opinions, for the most part, more than the opinions of other people. Japanese people, on the other hand, seem really interested in getting the reactions of other people...
On Japanese television, there are always these little boxes that show members of the studio audience. When something happens, you are able to see that person's reaction. Recently, I think I have seen this occur more on American television, but no where near as much as on Japanese television.
Japanese people frequently make little comments here and there about what they are thinking on the surface. The expectation is that a person will make a comment and then another person will hear that comment and respond if he or she agrees. For example, when walking to class, someone will say "atsui" (hot weather) and then other members in the group will say something similar in return. A few minutes later, this exchange will occur again. When watching television, you will hear a plethora of these exchanges [usually "kawaii" (cute/lovely), "kowai" (scary), "oishisou" (looks tasty), and other things like this]. Yeah, this sort of thing occurs in America, but the frequency of these exchanges and their importance in daily life is far greater in Japan. It just seems that Japanese people really like to know that other people are thinking the same way that they are.
Relationship StatusThe senpai/kouhai relationship may seem a little foreign to Americans as well. I have only observed this relationship in the school setting; so, I can't speak much about how the relationship works aside from in the school setting. In Japanese, "senpai" means "the senior person in a relationship, relative to another person". "Kouhai" means "the junior person in a relationship...". This relationship is based on two factors: age (18 years old, etc) and what year student (freshman, sophomore, etc). This is kind of how the relationship works...
Suppose you have two people who are the same year in school: an 18-year-old and a 19-year-old. In general, the 19-year-old is the senpai and the other is the kouhai. The senpai is expected to be somewhat of a mentor and the kouhai is supposed to be somewhat subservient to the senpai. If the senpai asks the kouhai to perform certain tasks (write a paper for the senpai for example), the kouhai is pretty much obligated to do it. If the two associate outside of school, then this relationship continues so long as the two are still going to school together. So, suppose these two go out to eat. The kouhai, again, may be expected to perform certain tasks (pour the senpai's drink for instance).
I have been told that things get more complicated if you have, say, a 20-year-old freshman and a 19-year-old sophomore. In this case, the 20-year-old has the greater age, but the 19-year-old is superior in terms of what year he is. Naturally, this is where things can get confusing.
There are probably many other differences between American and Japanese culture, but these are the ones that I am most familiar with for now.
